Like many kids growing up in the 1980s, I played with G.I. Joe action figures. Each figure had an interesting code name like Snake-Eyes, Shipwreck, Roadblock or Cobra Commander, had a ton of poseability — including swivel-arm battle grip! — and came with some pretty cool weapons.
Another great thing about G.I. Joe action figures was that each one came with its own file card on the back of the toy packaging — a small profile about the character that you were supposed to cut out and save for future reference. Believe it or not, these file cards many times became a factor when deciding which figure to buy. As a nine-year old, standing in the toy aisle of K-Mart, with only enough scratch in my Ghostbusters wallet to get one figure, I had to make a tough choice each week. All the figures looked awesome, so the file cards told you what kind of character the toy was supposed to be, which made picking one easier.
So this got me thinking, what if NHL players had file cards that summed up what you needed to know about them? It would quickly get you up to speed if you haven’t been following their career, and help you decide if you were going to like them or not.
I imagine they’d look something like these.
Blackhawks Captain – Code Name: Captain Serious
NHL Poster Boy – Code Name: Sid the Kid
Bruins Captain – Code Name: Big Z
Rangers Goaltender – Code Name: King Henrik
But players wouldn’t be the only ones who could have file cards.
Blue Jackets Coach – Code Name: Torts
Giant Muppet – Code Name: Youppi!
NHL Commissioner – Code Name: The Enemy
Got any requests? Leave a comment, and I might make a custom file card of your favorite hockey personality. ■