Category: Funny Stuff

No, I don’t celebrate St. Patrick’s Day…but apparently, Don Cherry does. This picture of Don from the most recent episode of Coach’s Corner is just flat out ridiculous.

As the McDonald’s commercial says, “I’m lovin’ it!”

I don’t know how Don Cherry manages to outdo himself, but somehow he consistently does. That fact is almost as scary as the florescent green hat that he wore Saturday night.

Not too long ago, I found a blog that documents what Don Cherry wears each week. The blog is cleverly entitled Don We Now Our Gay Apparel. Sadly, they haven’t updated in 5 weeks (despite my girlfriend emailing their webmaster a copy of the above pic).

Also, I wanted to make a some sort of joke about how if Don Cherry had a cherry on his hat, he’d look like a Shamrock Shake. But it’s late, I’m sick and joke writing is not my forte at 11:45pm.

Plus, I realize that not everywhere in North America has Shamrock Shakes

Question: So now I ask you….does your local McDonalds sell Shamrock Shakes during the month of March?

The Onion newspaper does not print articles about hockey very often, and when they do it is usually about the sport’s apparent lack of popularity and/or fan support. However, this one was downright hilarious:

Calgary Flames Trying To Keep Fact That They’re A Hockey Team From Landlord

Anyone who grew up watching the 1970s sitcom Three’s Company–-and knows their Flames’ history–will especially appreciate this one. Captain Canuck, I’m looking in your general direction here.

In other news…things seem to be getting back on track for me. I’ve been able to update Sal’s Hockey Autographs every day for a week, and plan on getting some new “Junk” up here over the weekend and early next week.

The Onion newspaper doesn’t riff on hockey too much, but this was in last Thursday’s issue:

Senators Accuse Thrashers Of Pouring It On After 3-1 Loss

OTTAWA—Following their 3-1 loss Wednesday, Senators players accused the visiting Thrashers of poor sportsmanship for keeping up the intensity long after the game was out of reach. “At the end of the second period it was 2-1, meaning the game was basically over,” said Senators captain Daniel Alfredsson, who called the Thrashers’ behavior in tallying the gaudy score a violation of the hockey code. “What’s going to happen? We’re somehow going to score a goal and tie it? Maybe. Flukes happen, miracles happen. But are we going to score twice? This is hockey we’re talking about, after all.” Alfredsson would not rule out his team attempting to score three goals on the Thrashers in their next meeting regardless of whether the Thrashers score at all.

The archive of The Onion‘s hockey articles can be seen here.

Those of you who read my Autograph Blog know that I recently visited all 30 American Hockey League websites, looking for each team’s player roster.

For the record, I am a professional web designer and graphic designer. I would love to be the webmaster of a pro hockey website. I think that mistakes or poor design on a professional website show laziness or lack of interest on the part of the webmaster / web team.

Thus, I feel the need to point out some of the more amusing mistakes I found on a few of these sites.

Mistake #1 – Distorted Images

Nathan Oystrick looks fat. In fact, every Peoria Rivermen player looks fat because their headshot photos are distorted.

Without getting into boring technical solutions, the picture needs to be taller, like this:

See? Much better? And it would only take them 5 minutes total to fix this problem for all the player pages. 

Mistake #2 – Incorrect Data 

Allegedly, the Syracuse Crunch have a center on their roster named COMING SOON. He has a page on the site, too.

Though COMING SOON’s height and weight are unknown, he was born July 06, 2010. I tell ya, these prospects keep getting younger and younger.

But he must be good because he is the first player listed under Forwards:

Even worse are the stats for goaltender Timo Pielmeier:

C’mon, guys–fix your database! Because I really want to know how well he did with the Cologne Sharks!

But this third one really takes the cake…

Mistake #3 – Bad Graphic Design

Amputee cheerleaders! Yes, the New England Patriot Cheerleaders–and their phantom limbs–will be at the Worcester Sharks game on Saturday. This image is currently on the Sharks’ home page:

Why do the cheerleaders fade out below the knee? To make room for the text, of course. But it looks stupid. When it comes to design, you try until you get it right…or don’t try at all.

In Other News…

• I will not be on The War Room this Wednesday (11/3), but will return to the show next Wednesday (11/10).
• This month is allegedly National Blog Posting Month. So, I’m going to try and update this site and my autograph site every day.