Fresh from The Onion

The Onion newspaper doesn’t riff on hockey too much, but this was in last Thursday’s issue:

Senators Accuse Thrashers Of Pouring It On After 3-1 Loss

OTTAWA—Following their 3-1 loss Wednesday, Senators players accused the visiting Thrashers of poor sportsmanship for keeping up the intensity long after the game was out of reach. “At the end of the second period it was 2-1, meaning the game was basically over,” said Senators captain Daniel Alfredsson, who called the Thrashers’ behavior in tallying the gaudy score a violation of the hockey code. “What’s going to happen? We’re somehow going to score a goal and tie it? Maybe. Flukes happen, miracles happen. But are we going to score twice? This is hockey we’re talking about, after all.” Alfredsson would not rule out his team attempting to score three goals on the Thrashers in their next meeting regardless of whether the Thrashers score at all.

The archive of The Onion‘s hockey articles can be seen here.


Author: Sal Barry

Sal Barry is the editor and webmaster of Puck Junk. He is a freelance hockey writer, college professor and terrible hockey player. Follow him on Twitter @puckjunk

3 thoughts on “Fresh from The Onion”

  1. Very funny! Though I did read the one about Hispanics and wonder why they didn't take that in the opposite direction, something like "Commissioner Relocates Canadiens to Guadalajara: Hopes to boost the Southern hockey market and show those whiny Quebecois who's boss."

  2. Nice! The Mexican Canadiens would have made for a funny article.

    My favorite line from the Onion is when they said Alexander Ovechkin "Speaks fluent Ovechkin."

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