The Puck Junk Bad Hockey Card Hall of Fame: Class of 2025
As the year comes to an end, it was now or never to announce the Puck Junk Bad Hockey Card Hall of Fame: Class of 2025. And what a class it is!
This year, we have two new members of the Bad Paint Job Category, four new members of the Bad Photograph Category, two new members of the Bad Idea Category, and one new member each in the Bad Head Swap and Bad Mistake Categories.
The Bad Paint Job Category
Prior to the 1990s, card companies Topps and O-Pee-Chee went that extra half mile to update a player’s trading card photo when he changed teams in the offseason. I say “half” because they always fell short for one reason or another. And boy, did they fall short with these two cards.
1978-79 Topps #46: Bob Stewart
Bob Stewart was a member of the Minnesota Nort Stars for about five minutes, and yet Topps felt the need to airbrush him into a North Stars jersey. Stewart played the previous season with the Cleveland Barons, who ended up merging with the North Stars in the summer of 1978. Stewart was claimed by the North Stars in the merger on June 15, 1978, then traded to the St. Louis Blues later that day. It took Topps more time to repaint Stewart’s photo than Stewart spent as property of the North Stars.
1980-81 Topps #303: Don Murdoch
Don Murdoch was traded from the Rangers to the Oilers towards the end of the 1979-80 season. Topps didn’t bother finding a new photo of Murdoch with the Rangers for his 1980-81 card, so they busted out the tempera paints and got to work. Unfortunately, they painted Murdoch in the wrong Oilers uniform. The Oilers logo seen here – with orange text and a blue oil drop – was last used by the team in 1978-79. Prior to the 1979-80 season, Edmonton changed its logo, so that it used blue text and an orange oil drop. That makes Murdoch’s “updated” 1980-81 card seem two years outdated when it was released. (First mentioned on Puck Junk in 2014.)
The Bad Photograph Category
A hockey card should make the player look cool – like someone a kid would look up to. Unfortunately, these cards do the opposite of that by using some very unflattering photography.
1979-80 O-Pee-Chee #298: Doug Patey
This card gets into the Bad Hockey Card Hall of Fame – but just by a nose. Or the lack of a nose, we might say. Patey played two games for the Washington Capitals in 1977-78, another six games for the Caps in 1978-79, was selected by the Oilers in the 1979 Expansion Draft – and then never played in the NHL again. Yet, O-Pee-Chee practically insisted on including Patey in its 1979-80 set, using the worst – or perhaps only – photo they could find. A blurry Capitals player takes up 25% of the pic, while Patey’s nose gets clipped by bad cropping. For what it’s worth, this was Patey’s ONLY hockey card ever issued…and even he looks like he doesn’t want to be on it.
1975-76 Topps #239: Craig Cameron
Why did Topps choose this photo of Craig Cameron? Was it because they wanted to frighten little children who bought hockey cards 50 years ago? It’s hard to look at this card and not get freaked out. I think it is because Cameron looks like the murderous bounty hunter Anton Chigurh from the movie No Country for Old Men.
Bad haircut? Check. Barely open eyes? Check. Maniacal grin? Check.
1991-92 Ultimate Draft Picks #6: Alex Stojanov
You know what makes you look like a dweeb on your own hockey card? Getting checked so hard that you fly head-over-heels. (Although Stojanov’s heels are, in fact, over his head. Hey – I didn’t coin the phrase.) This card uses a picture from a pretend game that card company Ultimate held so that it could get photos for its draft picks set. But Stojanov’s opponent that day took things way too seriously and sent the Vancouver Canucks’ draft pick flying. You can’t even see Stojanov’s face on his own card. Then again, if this was my card, I wouldn’t want to show my face on it, either.
1997-98 Collector’s Choice #239: Igor Ulanov
We’re not quite sure what is happening to Igor Ulanov. But what we are sure of is that Ulanov did not consent to having this picture used on his card.
Cutting the head off of one player’s photo and putting it on the body of another player – what could be so bad about that?
1984-85 O-Pee-Chee #7: Ken Linseman
Ken Linesman was traded from the Oilers to the Bruins in 1984 for Mike Krushelnyski on June 21, 1984. Magically, Linseman grew four inches taller that day, too.
You see, this is Ken Linseman’s head – but not his body. O-Pee-Chee decided to update Linseman’s card by cutting his head from one photo, repainting the helmet black, and then pasting it on Krushelnyski’s body. Not only did Linseman inherit Krushelnyski’s height, but he got his uniform number 25, too.
And for those of you keeping score at home, Linseman’s 1982-83 O-Pee-Chee card was inducted into the Bad Hockey Card Hall of Fame in 2024.
The Bad Idea Category
Hockey cards that no one asked for.
1990-91 Upper Deck – Stereograms: Wayne Gretzky
During the early 1990s, Upper Deck was so cutting edge for its use of holograms. The team logo stickers found in 1989 Upper Deck Baseball cards were state-of the-art. But hockey got the short end of the stick when Upper Deck issued a set of nine “Stereograms” inserts in 1990-91. These were supposed to depict a player in motion when you moved the card but looks more like an amorphous bluish blob than a hockey player. Is that The Great One or The Ghost of Hockey Past?
2023-24 Skybox Metal Universe – Constellations #CN-22: Mathew Barzal
“Constellations” were kind of like head swap cards, but instead of putting one player’s head on a different players’ body, it was put IN OUTER SPACE! Yes, a star among the stars. We get the metaphor, Upper Deck. But giant floating heads never look good as a card design. Mathew Barzal’s “Constellations” card is the worst of the 32-card set because his big nose, large ears, unsmiling mouth, and stoic gaze make him look like one of those giant “Moai” statues found on Easter Island.
The Bad Mistake Category
Mistakes that were immortalized on hockey cards.
2009-10 Victory #197: Semen Varlamov
No, you’re not going blind. Upper Deck actually spelled Varlamov’s first name as SEMEN on his hockey card. You see, the right way to spell the Russian goalie’s forename was quite the sticky problem for card companies. The transliteration of Varlamov’s first name from the Cyrillic to the English alphabet changed a few times. Originally, it was spelled “Simeon” (like an ape) and then “Semen” (LOL!) before “Semyon” was determined to be the most-accurate way to convert “Семён” into English letters. Unfortunately, this awkward spelling of his name forever left its mark on his hockey card.
Which of these cards do you think is the worst of them all? And what card do you think should make it into the Puck Junk Bad Hockey Card Hall of Fame in 2025? Leave a comment and let me know!
Sal Barry is the editor and webmaster of Puck Junk. He is a freelance hockey writer, college professor and terrible hockey player. Follow him on Twitter @puckjunk
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