Top Ten Hockey Player Pick-Up Lines

Where were you 17 years ago today? Me? I was parked in front of my television, excitedly anticipating the start of the hockey games in the 1998 Winter Olympics. This was the first time that the NHL would allow its best players to compete in the Olympic Games, which were held in Nagano, Japan that year. Many Americans, including myself, had high expectations for Team USA, especially considering that they won the World Cup of Hockey tournament in 1996.

But, the Men’s Ice Hockey Team performance — and off-ice conduct — was nothing short of a disaster in those games. (Fortunately, the Women’s Team redeemed the U.S. and won the Gold.) A few hours before their first game, against Sweden on February 13, 1998, David Letterman featured a hockey-themed Top-Ten List.  Below is the transcript, but I recommend watching the video; it’s so much funnier to hear the players try to sound cool while delivering a ridiculous line.

Top Ten Hockey Player Pick-Up Lines:

10. Keith Tkachuk, Phoenix Coyotes
“My Zamboni — or yours?”

9. Tony Amonte, Chicago Blackhawks
“Baby, I can make you do the wave.”

8. Chris Chelios, Chicago Blackhawks
“You’re my only chance to score more than Gretzky.”

7. Mike Richter, New York Rangers
“I’m Stanley. Would you like to see my cup?”

6. Mike Modano, Dallas Stars
“Ever kiss a guy with no teeth?”

5. John Vanbiesbrouck, Florida Panthers
“I said, ‘would you like a puck?'”

4. Pat Lafontaine, New York Rangers
“My wife calls me Gordie Wowe!”

3. Jeremy Roenick, Phoenix Coyotes
“Hey, you want to me my intern?”

2. Bill Guerin, New Jersey Devils
“In your case, NHL stands for Non-stop Happenin’ Lady.”

And the number one hockey player pick-up line…

1. Brett Hull, St. Louis Blues
“I’ve got a curved stick.”

Question: Which player do you think did the best job saying their pick-up line? Leave a comment below.

Author: Sal Barry

Sal Barry is the editor and webmaster of Puck Junk. He is a freelance hockey writer, college professor and terrible hockey player. Follow him on Twitter @puckjunk

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