Panini Presents: Another Confusing Card of Purported Value

headerPanini, my old foe…we meet again!

You know what grinds my gears in the card collecting world? Absolute laziness fortified with an attitude that no one will notice. On Friday evening, I’m sitting back in my dapper, leather high-back Georgian wing chair, enjoying a freshly poured adult beverage consisting of Scotch old enough legally buy itself and nothing more, when my phone pinged with a message.

“PiiiiiiiiNG!”

It was an email from an online sport card retailer that I frequent, directing my attention to a sale. I adjusted my pashmina afghan, tipped my yachting cap back on my brow, and dove in to see what wares awaited my eyes.

Shortly into the list, and much to my surprise, I saw a Ryan Miller card that looked familiar…eerily familiar.

their_miller
2012-13 Panini Black Box #GPRM (numbered 1/1)

“Don’t I have this card?” I pondered. Curiosity piqued, I scrolled back to the top to see what their asking price was, but something else caught my eye and made my bubble pipe (don’t smoke, kids!) fall right from my lips and damn near into my fortified sip!

“One of one,” claimed the listing. Like a shot, I zipped up the stairs and immediately dug out the card from my memory:

my_miller
2012-13 Panini Limited #GP-RM (numbered 2/5)

Pretty much, the same damn card! Yet mine had a stamp of “2 of 5”, and on closer inspection theirs has a gaudy stamp across the ex-Sabre goalie reading “Panini Black Box.” Soooo…does that mean that there are actually six of these out there?

Now dear reader, I fully anticipated writing about this card in a box break review, especially since that box was over $100 retail and consisted of exactly one pack of cards. (I counted. Twice.)

But this…this…this absolute disregard to the card-buying public’s trust and best interests SHALL NOT STAND! Now wait, wait, wait…this gets even better as I will soon educate you on the levels of preposteries, the shenanigans, the tomfooleries that Panini feels it can shove off on to you and I, the consummate consumers.

The back reads as such:

“It’s always special to break a team record, but when the name you erase belongs to one of the all-time greats, then you’ve really achieved something. Miller made 35 saves in a 4-3 win over the Isles on Feb. 4, vaulting him past Dominik Hasek to become the Sabres’ all-time wins leader with 235.”

Got that? Good. Who are the two teams listed in the story? The New York Islanders and the Buffalo Sabres. Now scroll back up and look at my card; I’ll wait….

What team’s logo graces that piece of hard rubber? That’s right, The Flyers.

WHAT IN THE GREAT GHOST OF JEAN BELIVEAU DO THE FLYERS HAVE TO DO WITH ANY OF THAT STORY?!?!!??!

Ghost_of_Beliveau*Tears off yachting cap and throws it at the ground, stomps foot*

The card also reads:

“The enclosed game-used material and autograph are guaranteed by
Panini America, Inc.”

Guaranteed of what exactly? Because it is surely not a puck of any historic significance that we know of; we don’t even know if Ryan Miller even touched that puck. Also, don’t look too hard at the two signatures side by side (I’m just saying).

miller_backPanini, you have disappointed me time and time again. First, poor Jeff Skinner has to appear as a ghostly apparition above a city’s he’s never played in. Then you make the pitiable Shawn Hunwick write his own name so much that he had to put his shining career on hold indefinitely. Clearly, you had a puppeteer’s hand in the JFK/Marilyn Monroe cover up. And now this Ryan Miller card that is so filled with lies and mocking half-truths that it is currently the leading Republican candidate for President!

Take THAT, Trump.

*Drops microphone, steps off of soapbox, refills drink.*

About the Author: Jim Howard is a Carolina Hurricanes fan and reformed baseball card collector who is trying to keep the hockey collection from becoming overwhelming. And while he wishes he could give Crosby the business with his mitt, he is in fact NOT the goalie for the Red Wings. 

9 thoughts on “Panini Presents: Another Confusing Card of Purported Value”

  1. Plain and simple, I’ve never been a Panini fan. This just adds to a list. I don’t like the exclusiveness that Upper Deck has, however, if there was going to have to be an exclusive company, I am glad that it’s Upper Deck.

  2. Well… to play the devil’s avocat,.. Panini didn’t write that the puck on the front was from that specific moment in history… but it is surely a game used puck as advertised. The text on the back is only there to describe a moment in Miller’s carreer… like any other card. The card say “game pucks”… not “game dated pucks”… lol

    But it’s surely sad to see that they are lazy enough to think that putting a stamp on a card makes it a 1 on 1… because thinking about it… your card is a 1 on 1 too, because no other card as a 2/5 stamp on it!!!

  3. In The Game has created whole new products based on recycling previous stock. That plus redemption cards plus buyback cards have really put a bad taste in my mouth with all of it.

    Add to that the ridiculous asking prices of some of these stamped 1/1’s and I’m pretty much banning them from my collection.

    Let’s see some fresh ideas and inspired designs. It’s been far too long.

  4. Kin: right on! I’m done with them if they ever pop up again. I don’t really like monopolies, but UD is the lesser of two evils.

    Yan: true. Spandau Ballet true. But including some Puck that has nothing to do with the cards story or the even the team of the player featured just cheapens the effect of the card. It could have been a Flyers/Wings game puck; then what whats the point of it being on here. What ever cord was suspending my disbelief has been clipped.

    Brett: agreed. I like the sticks and skates and getting that get included in some cards, but original ideas would def help move product in the consumer’s minds. I wouldn’t mind seeing the BAP portrait series revived. But usually anything new is going to be sold at a premium. :/

      1. Not that much missed up… it’s written Colorado Avalanche / Quebec Nordiques on the card, since this is the same organisation…

        1. That still seems like a stretch. Does this mean we should be expecting a Marty Brodeur card with a Colorado Rockies patch…

  5. I have not seen a Marty Brodeur St Louis card yet. I may not have come across one, but I’m a little surprised.

    Speaking of which, with Big Lou moving out of NJ, I’m wondering if Marty knew about this and felt like sticking with the Blues front office rather than dealing with the devils shake up.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *